MY BROKEN SMILE

I smile because I CAN not because I WANT to. Sometimes I regret having the ability to smile because mine is broken. Yea that's right I have a broken smile. That one little tooth that sticks out, on the bottom right hand corner. It looks so nasty. All because when I was a little girl I didn't want to get that tooth pulled out. It was going to hurt so bad. That tooth just makes me want to keep my mouth closed. Other times I smile to keep people from asking me whats wrong when they see me down and the tears from running down my face. There's nothing in life ever that deep that you can't smile. See, I love laughing and taking pictures which that involves showing your teeth of course.  When you laugh everyone can see all in your mouth; top bottom and left to right. With all this being said I actually like my broken smile, nobodies perfect. My dad always told me "When you smile your day goes by faster." I'm lucky to even have teeth because some people don't and still smile and thats a bad site. :)

After that, the change was complete, completely pointless. That one little letter I forgot to put between 

''LUV" and "LOVE" I didn't know they meant different things. To my knowledge luv is something like playful way of saying I LOVE YOU but not really meaning it. So I sent the message back to him I luv you more, and there the change was; he changed on me. All because of that word. I promise I meant everybody of it I just was lazy I didn't feel like writing out the whole word. Love is a strong word. Those four letters can change someone physically and emotionally. Love should really mean Hate and vice versa. Because, when you love someone you treat them bad or even make them cry. However, when you say you Hate someone people often take that word back and start to treat them better and love them. From my experience, I would never love again because my heart still isn't fixed.

I am black and I feel ugly 

I'm brown-skinned but I'm always worried about getting darker. I was in a summer program where we

went away for three weeks and it was mainly outside. I have a regular, boring, average, dark brown eyes.

I  hate it. I think its so corny, but I think colored contacts don't look real and just make someone look

insecure like they're unhappy with the way they look or need colored contacts to feel pretty. I think they

just look weird, the colors aren't even realistic. I have a round nose. I hate my nose. I'm envious of Latina

girls or Middle Eastern girls because they look exotic. They all look different and some of them have very

pretty eyes. They also have long hair that they don't have to worry about it falling out for putting too

much heat on it, sticking straight up in the air, falling out for sleeping on the wrong kind of pillow or not

oiling it. I just don't like being me. I don't like being black. How can I get over this and find beauty within

myself? I feel so ugly all of the time and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of looking at other girls and thinking

"Why can't I be like that?" I know this sounds bad, but it's just the way I feel. :(

     Ebon’e Nesmith

Creative Writing

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

           We could have been together since the day I was born until the day you left this earth. I wish my mom could have thought a little careful person who sperm was used to make me. How dare you even put yourself in that predicament anyway? What does being a criminal feel like? How does leaving your only child feel?  I always wanted to know how you felt about all of this. Since I was young enough to know that you wasn’t here with me to do the things that fathers are supposed to do, I cried myself to sleep every night. Now who supposed to take me to the father-daughter dance, teach my about boys, tell me about the birds and the bees. You know that song “Dance with My Father Again” every time I would listen to that song I would cry just the thought of not having one of my parents here is devastating.  I always wanted to dance off this song so I can dance my pain away. I wish I could choose another dad, but then again it’s not your fault. Mistakes are made by people so that a lesson can be I’m happy that I got to see you before you left me. Everyone always told me “You look just like your father wait until you see him” but I used to say “no I look like my mom”. When I first saw I was scared to see you, I thought to myself what does it feel like looking at your own self behind bars. The connection we shared that day made me realize that you are sorry and you’re trying. From that moment on I was happy that I my true match. I never got to tell you this so, I figured since you’re watching over me that I type this out so that you can read it. Until that day comes that we meet again I want you to Rest Well.