Ebon’e Nesmith

Creative Writing

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda

           We could have been together since the day I was born until the day you left this earth. I wish my mom could have thought a little careful person who sperm was used to make me. How dare you even put yourself in that predicament anyway? What does being a criminal feel like? How does leaving your only child feel?  I always wanted to know how you felt about all of this. Since I was young enough to know that you wasn’t here with me to do the things that fathers are supposed to do, I cried myself to sleep every night. Now who supposed to take me to the father-daughter dance, teach my about boys, tell me about the birds and the bees. You know that song “Dance with My Father Again” every time I would listen to that song I would cry just the thought of not having one of my parents here is devastating.  I always wanted to dance off this song so I can dance my pain away. I wish I could choose another dad, but then again it’s not your fault. Mistakes are made by people so that a lesson can be I’m happy that I got to see you before you left me. Everyone always told me “You look just like your father wait until you see him” but I used to say “no I look like my mom”. When I first saw I was scared to see you, I thought to myself what does it feel like looking at your own self behind bars. The connection we shared that day made me realize that you are sorry and you’re trying. From that moment on I was happy that I my true match. I never got to tell you this so, I figured since you’re watching over me that I type this out so that you can read it. Until that day comes that we meet again I want you to Rest Well.